Who Am I?

I’m Dr. Tori Niemynski (Nuh-min-ski): pediatrician, educator, soon-to-be-published author, daughter, friend, godmother, divorcee, elder millennial, Leo sun/Scorpio moon/Capricorn rising (which is lightly woo-woo code for A LOT), and recent expat.

Beyond those basics, I am a deeply complex person.

Sometimes I am silly and sometimes I am serious. Sometimes I am sarcastic and sometimes I am painfully earnest. Sometimes I am scattered and sometimes I am laser-focused on a single point of interest. Often all within one conversation.

I believe I hold more threads of perspective than most people I have met. I know how that sounds but I still think it’s true. I’ve spent my life straddling lines most won’t even approach.

I am Black and inextricably white.

I have been poor and not-poor (not yet rich, but fingers crossed).

I have existed in close community with “the uneducated” and with those who hold every possible advanced degree and distinction.

I have lived in eight of our United States; both coasts and criss-crossed through the middle. I have also travelled extensively and lived outside its borders.

I am the child of two group-home social workers without college degrees who grew up to become a Stanford-educated doctor.

Ideologically, I’ve been pretty conservative (though I wouldn’t have thought so at the time) all the way to quite progressive. Some might even call me “radical” these days— I care about all humans and the ways we are systemically oppressed.

I have layered all of this experience on how my brain naturally works: hyper-verbal, “gifted and talented,” late-diagnosed ADHD with a primary special interest in people. I take in a lot and process a lot. I am still trying to figure out how to access a lower mental gear (counter-productive, perhaps?).

I’m a person who likes to share what they learn, and I’ve created big messy categories that I am regularly updating:

• I know what I know

• I know what I don’t know [subcategories- a) I know what I think, b) I know I don’t care]

• I don’t know what I don’t know, and

• Figuring it out

Though I continue to learn, grow, and change, I also know where I stand in the present moment. I remember the journey from there to here, and I think some of it’s worth discussing.

Why am I here?

Deeper connection. More honesty. A place to share my thoughts and perspectives in a way that may be helpful— both from a pediatrician POV and as a person who has lived a different life than most.

The U.S and most of the people in it (less a few billionaires) are in a really tenuous spot right now, and truthfully, I’m worried about what the future holds. Currently we are failing every open book test and the tests are only going to get harder. I don’t want that for the people I care about. I don’t want that for us.

I’m a solutions-oriented helper by nature, but over time, I’ve adopted a particular philosophy, said best by the modern poets Glorilla and Megan Thee Stallion, “he don’t wanna be saved, don’t save him.”

I’m not able to help every person— I don’t want that much responsibility anyway— but I do think I have ideas and solutions that can move the needle for some, and I can’t do that with 3 second attention spans.

I view Instagram as the sidewalk. I’m just a guy with a microphone like everyone else. If I can grab your attention effectively enough, you might slow down for a sec before you keep it pushing, but we’re not really engaging meaningfully.

I see Substack as an open house of me as a person and professional— come in, stay a while. Have a look around, see if what I have here seems aligned to you. Not everybody from the street will wander in— that’s the goal and the expectation. Maybe you’ll find some like-minded people and build deep connections. Maybe seeing me share my thoughts will feel liberating to you. Maybe you will be inspired to think about what you value and how you want to do things in your own life.

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Beyond that, from a service perspective, I view my upcoming child health curriculum for new parents as an even deeper personal connection. Now we’re at a private gathering in my living room. We have a relationship. We chill in our inside clothes with our hair not done. We have tea, or wine, or coffee, or cocktails. We DEFINITELY have snacks. We’re talking stuff out— I’m the friend you come to when you want to get serious about taking action and want suggestions for actual solutions. If you don’t want that, you already know better than to call me!

Critically, at the end of the day, whatever I have to say—we’re just friends. There is no power dynamic, medicolegal liability structure, or corporate overlord.

You decide what you do, and I don’t have to feel moral & professional responsibility for your choices. I am accountable for ensuring that I share high-quality, evidence-based information like I would for any person I care about.

I offer the support I have, which is what I know from my medical training and 10+ year clinical career. You keep all your autonomy, just with greater confidence and clarity.

This curriculum is not a “buy this course and see you never” type of offering. It will require effort of both of us. You can ask follow-up questions. You can get support from me and other parents who are in the room with you. When we are done, you will have knowledge and skills you didn’t have before. You will have a virtual village. I want to set you on your journey well, self-assured and prepared to face the uncertainty that is guaranteed in parenting. This requires a certain kind of commitment, and I want you to have the opportunity to look before you leap.

Who will like it here?

Generally speaking, I think there is one large category: people who are curious and engaged. Whatever else you consider true, you understand that science is not a belief system.

Notice I didn’t say smart, because (this might be a hot take) I’m actually a strong supporter of “allowing people to be dumb.” Not everybody can be smart! For lots of reasons, from cellular to societal. It’s an unrealistic starting point.

That said, I think you’ll have a better time if you are interested in getting smart-er, growing in your way of thinking, or at the very least, trying to understand someone else’s way of thinking. Ignorance is one thing, belligerent ignorance is another.

Finally, you’re cool. I don’t mean in a popular way. I’m intentional about curating a safe space and I’m a girl with GOOD boundaries, so there’s no room for hatefulness. If you are someone who is racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, xenophobic, or otherwise carries trash ideas about other human beings and their right to safely exist with dignity— it’s a nah from me, dawg.

Under that umbrella, you’re probably:

1-Nosey (relatable) and/or think I’m funny and interesting and want to know more! Love that for us, let’s hang.

2- A new, new-ish, or soon-to-be parent who wants a low investment way of checking me out. Times are weird, people are increasingly weird, and it’s very reasonable to do a little leg work on anyone who may influence your parenting journey. Good on you.

What are the details?

Here’s the nitty gritty.

The free version will include: 1-2 monthly posts. Always one educational child health topic.

The paid version is $7/month or $70/year. This buys you more consistency and more personal info, with a post every Tuesday. I’ll share more about my life experiences, past and present. Paid subscribers will also get some perks: live streams, collabs with other writers, early access to my products and services, and a community chat.

There is also a founding member tier which is the highest level of support at $210/year. You get everything in the paid subscription plus a private 30 minute video call with me on a child health topic of your choosing (or we can just keke and laugh!), and first access to every product and service I’ll offer.

It’s all free until July 7th, so you can get a sense of what’s happening here before the tiers kick in!

See you next week, I hope! Leave a comment and let me know you’re here!

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